


Crush

by kingenjolras



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6280687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingenjolras/pseuds/kingenjolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“OK, but seriously,” Holster adds on, looking around at everyone's who's generally just gathered around the island. “can we talk about how fucking lucky Bitty's future husband is going to be?”<br/>“Legit!” Lardo says, eyes wide while she nods in agreement. “Unlimited pies, authentic southern food-”<br/>“Not to mention a hot as fuck husband,” Ransom says, making everyone laugh and agree. “Just look at him!”<br/>This causes everyone to turn around, looking at Bitty. Jack's chest feels tight. Bitty could have a crush on anyone in the this room, and they're all seeing him look so beautiful. Anyone in this room could have a crush to match Bitty's.<br/>--<br/>Or, Bitty has a crush, and Jack is doing a horrible job at dealing with the whole thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crush

**Author's Note:**

> The working title of this fic was 'jack is an idiot, ha!' so that should really sum everything up for you. It also ended up being much much longer than I was expecting it to be so, whoops. 
> 
> This is my first fic for this fandom, so please be nice i am but a simple writer trying to overcome my feels. I'm my own proofreader, so if there's any mistakes I'm v sorry abt that. I'm not exactly sure what time this is set in, but it's sometime between Jack getting signed and him graduating.

Jack's known since the first time he ever saw Eric Bittle that he was going to fall in love with him. There was something different about him; something warm. It was like sunshine, filling Jack with warmth. He was soft, with his accent, and his pies, and his inability to take a hit. It was only a matter of time before the small blonde had his heart in a vice grip. Jack's pretty sure he fell in love right then and there.

Of course, he hadn't admitted that to himself until very recently, and he still hasn't admitted it to anyone but himself. He finally understands what that warmth was in his chest. The overwhelming urge to pull the smaller boy close and never let go of him. He knows that it's love. There's nothing else that it could be; no other way to explain how he's feeling.

Unfortunately, Jack has never really been in love before. Well, before Bitty, anyways. Of course there was his short fling with Kent, but Jack wouldn't exactly say he was in love with him.

That being said, he's never felt heartbreak in a romantic sense before either. He's felt it in being a disappointment, in overdosing, in recovering, in making people upset because he's too easily annoyed, in shutting people out. No one's ever broken his heart but himself, though.

He supposes, while watching Bitty flirt with someone that Jack has only ever seen in passing at a kegster, that this is still true. It's certainly not Bitty's fault that his heart feels like it's going to actually escape from his chest as he watches them interact with other.

The senior is tall, probably taller than Jack is, and blond. He has his hat on backwards and a drink in one hand and Bitty is smiling so wide that it almost makes Jack's cheeks hurt just looking at him. Jack forces himself to look away for a moment so that he isn't staring, but a moment later he's drawn back to looking at them by the sound of Bitty laughing loudly. He should've known, really, from the very beginning, that he didn't really have a chance.

He'd thought, for a moment, that Bitty might have felt the same about him. That he might have an actual chance to not ruin it for himself. He'd even thought, for a stupid period of time, that Bitty might even love him back. But no, Bitty couldn't do something like that and Jack knows it. Not his Bitty, with his soft brown eyes, and his skin that feels like feathers underneath Jack's fingertips. He couldn't love someone like Jack. Someone so focused on the future, and his career. He's too sharp, too harsh, too awkward, too emotionally stunted.

He feels almost sick, watching Bitty put his hand on the crook of the senior's elbow, probably calling him 'darlin'', or 'sweetheart', in his sweet southern accent. He's sure that the senior is endeared, because who wouldn't be. He's also sure that the senior is going to try and get Bitty into bed with him, and Jack doesn't even want to think about the possibility of Bitty saying yes. They're standing close together, touching each other and laughing and Jack regrets ever leaving his room.

He's so in love that his chest aches with it as he watches them get closer together, the senior pressing Bitty back into the wall slightly. Jack can't even believe that he feels so deeply for someone that he hasn't even known that long. It seems impossible, almost, to be this in love. But then he remembers who he's fallen in love with, and it makes sense. He figures it's probably impossible to not fall in love with Bitty just a little bit.

He turns away again, willing himself not to look back at them again. He doesn't want to ruin Bitty's good time by being caught staring like a weirdo. He stares at the stairs for what seems like an eternity, trying to decide whether he should just go back up them. He hasn't been ambushed by any of his teammates yet, so he figures that now is probably the time to do it, if he's going to.

He's halfway to the stairs when a familiar hand lands on his arm, turning him around clumsily.

“Hey, you,” Bitty says, grinning at him. “Leaving so soon?”

Jack has to focus harder than he'd care to admit on replying and not just staring at Bitty like an idiot. Bitty's cheeks are flushed and his pupils are dilated. There's a red cup in one of his hands and his hair is pushed away from his face, being held back by the small amount of sweat that's covering his face. The jersey he's wearing is far too big for him as well, and his jeans are much tighter than Jack could ever handle on his own legs. He looks beautiful, and Jack's chest aches again as he replies.

“Uh, yeah,” He rubs to the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed. Just another reason for the list of reasons that Bitty probably doesn't feel the same about him; he can't enjoy a Kegster unless he's with Bitty. “I'm pretty tired.”

“Too tired to go out on the roof with me?” Bitty asks, tightening his grip on Jack's arm.

Jack couldn't say no, even if he wanted to. He resists his urge to ask where the guy he'd been talking to earlier went off to, not wanting Bitty to start gushing about him or something like that.

“Ah, you know I'm never too tired for you.”

Bitty's flush gets a little deeper and his smile widens. “Great!”

He grabs Jack's hand with his free one, pulling his towards the stairs. He's sure that if any of his teammates were around, they'd chirp him for looking at Bitty like he's the sun.

Maybe he is.

It's a little colder than it probably should be for the season out on the roof as they settle next to each other. Jack is used to the cold, enjoys it even. He likes the way he can feel it on his skin. He knows Bitty is going to get cold soon though, after the warmth from his drink begins to ware off.

“The sky is so beautiful,” Bitty says, looking up at the stars and putting his head on Jack's shoulder. “Out in the country in Georgia, man, there were so many stars you couldn't even think of counting! It's was so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you, I bet,” Jack replies before he can stop himself.

They both blush, Bitty pulling away from him and looking down a little. Jack tries not to let his discomfort show too much, but there's no real way for him to play off what he'd said as a joke. There was too much sincerity in his voice. He vows to keep his mouth closed for longer before he speaks next time.

“Oh, lord,” Bitty says, a bit of a laugh under his words. “Look at you being so smooth.”

“It happens sometimes.” Jack shrugs. He hopes that Bitty is tipsy enough not to read too deep into anything that Jack is saying. He doesn't want to make things weird by flirting too obviously.

“It's cold out, huh?” Bitty shivers, wrapping his arms around himself. “I shoulda planned for that.”

Jack is taking off his jacket before Bitty can even finish talking. He's perfectly fine in the cold, and he definitely doesn't need his jacket at the moment. He hands it to Bitty, his arm stiff and awkward.

“Can't have you freezing out here.”

Bitty takes the jacket slowly, staring at it like he's not sure what to do with it. His gaze switches back and forth between the jacket and Jack. Eventually, he just nods, pulling the jacket on. The sleeves are too long for him, and he looks a bit like he's drowning in the fabric. Jack is having trouble breathing.

He tries hard not to think about Bitty wearing his jacket for reasons more than just because Jack offered it to him. Despite his best efforts, he can't stop himself from imagining Bitty wearing his jacket just because he can. Not being able to find his jacket because, oh, Bitty's wearing it.

He snaps himself back into reality, trying to focus on something that isn't Bitty wearing his jacket. It's hard to find something else to think about though, especially when Bitty seems to have scooted closer to him in the process of putting his jacket on.

“Jack,” Bitty says softly, leaning into his side.

Jack's heartrate increases, able to feel the warmth of Bitty's breath on his shoulder now that he's not wearing his jacket. He wraps an arm around Bitty's waist, praying that he's not overstepping any boundaries in their friendship. Bitty is cold, and he's warm, and he'll take any excuse he can get to touch Bitty like he's more than just his friend.

“I, uh.”

He feels Bitty shift to look at him, so he looks back, tilting his head down. This brings their faces much closer together than expected, their noses almost bumping together.

“I wanted to tell you something,” Bitty breathes, moving closer to him ever so slightly.

“OK,” Jack replies, trying to stop himself from breathing too heavily. “What is it?” His heart is beating a mile a minute, threatening to jump straight out of his ribcage. An inch or so more and his lips would be pressed right up against Bitty's. It's a thought he wishes he wasn't having. He prays that Bitty can't tell how fast he's breathing.

“Well,” Bitty bites his lip, pulling back a little so that they can see each other better. Jack feels like he's being tested. “I don't know how to say this.”

“You alright?” Jack, as much as he can hardly focus on anything other than how close Bitty's lips are to his, is concerned. He's never seen Bitty so hesitant in saying something. Normally words are coming out of his mouth so fast that Jack can't track them all.

“Yeah I just,” He flushes, putting a hand on Jack's thigh, presumably to steady himself. He takes a deep breath at the same time Jack exhales. “I have a crush on someone.”

The words fly so fast from his mouth that Jack almost has to ask him to repeat himself. He almost wants to ask him to do it anyways, just so he can make sure that he heard him right. He rethinks doing this when he sees how tightly Bitty is clutching the cup in his hand. The way that he's biting his lip looks painful, and Jack wonders why on Earth Bitty is telling him about his crush.

He doesn't really know why Bitty would tell him, out of everyone in the Haus, that he has a crush. He and Bitty have been getting closer lately, yeah, but still. Everyone knows that emotions and relationships are not his strong suit. He's doing his best to ignore the squeezing sensation he's feeling in his chest. He thought he was upset before just watching Bitty flirt with someone else. Now it's being confirmed that Jack has absolutely no chance in hell. 

Apparently, Jack is silent for too long because Bitty starts talking again, rambling.

“It's uh, well, on someone in the Haus, but-”

Before he gets a chance to finish the sentence, the window behind them opens and Ransom and Holster are sticking their heads out.

“Bitty, thank God,” Holster says, sounding out of breath. “We've been looking everywhere for you!”

“We thought you like, left with someone or something,” Ransom adds, looking between them. “No one could find you.”

“I've only been gone for like, fifteen minutes,” Bitty respondes, annoyance and confusion showing on his face.

“Bro,” Ransom and Holster speak at the same time.

“Fifteen minutes is forever in party time,” Holster says, gesturing with the cup in his hand.

Bitty rolls his eyes affectionately. “Whatever, I'll be in a minute.”

They both cheer, pulling their heads out of the window frame and closing it without another word. Jack still feels just as scrambled as he did before.

Jack takes the opportunity to get out of this situation before he says something he probably shouldn't.

“We should get back inside,” He says, his voice going back to it's default flatness. He almost cringes, but he stops himself. He really needs to be by himself for a while. He can't think straight with Bitty so close to him and this is something he'd really like to think about by himself.

“Jack?” Bitty asks, falling back a little bit as Jack stands, letting him fall from his shoulder.

“Come on Bits,” He says, offering his hand to help Bitty up. “Everyone's probably waiting on you.”

He doesn't miss the way that Bitty's face drops.

He wishes he did.

-

It's a few hours later when Shitty finds him, face down on his mattress.

He's not sure how long he's been thinking, but it's been long enough for him to put himself into the worst mood.

He spends most of his time before Shitty shows up wondering. He wonders who it is, mostly. No matter who it is, it's going to be one of Jack's closest friends, since Holster, Ransom, and Shitty are the only other options at this point. He doesn't know what he's going to do if Bitty actually starts dating anyone in the Haus that isn't him.

He knew that Bitty wouldn't just sit around for forever and never fall for anyone. He knew that eventually someone was going to catch his eye and he was going to date someone. He just doesn't think he prepared himself well enough for it to happen so soon, or for it to be on someone that he's close friends with.

He hopes that whoever it is feels blessed to have Bitty's affection. They should feel grateful for someone so sweet and caring.

“Brah,” Shitty says, sitting down near his feet. “Rough night?”

Jack sighs, sitting up onto his elbows and then turning over so he's no longer on his stomach. “Something like that, yeah.” He sits up fully, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Not something I need drunken advice for, though.”

“For once man,” Shitty shakes his head. “I'm not drunk.”

Jack raises his eyebrows, looking him up and down. He's not disheveled, or messy looking. “Rough night?” He asks, parroting Shitty's words.

“Eh,” Shitty shrugs, looking over at him and twisting his mouth a little bit. “Not really feeling it I guess.”

Jack knits his eyebrows together, scooting a little closer to him. “You alright?” It's rare that Shitty doesn't feel like getting drunk.

“I asked you first man.” Shitty laughs, shoving him a little. “Let's just spill our hearts to each other.”

Jack smiles, but it's short lived. He sighs heavily, putting his elbows on his knees and wrapping his hands around each other. He keeps his eyes on his hands while he blurts it out before he can lose his nerve. “Bitty has a crush on someone.” If he doesn't talk about it now, he'll let it eat away at him until he panics about it and he'd rather not make Shitty deal with that. “He told me, uh, just now, out on the roof. I kinda ran away I think.”

When he looks up, Shitty is staring at him with wide eyes.

“Dude.”

“I know! I panicked. I didn't mean to run away.” Jack shakes his head, running a hand down his face and blinking a few times.

“Did he say who the crush was on? I'm assuming you wouldn't run away if he'd said it was you.” Shitty moves a little closer to him and pulls his legs up onto the bed to sit cross legged.

Jack thinks for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain the entire situation to Shitty. Apparently this pause is too long because Shitty begins talking again, scolding him.

“Oh my fucking god, Jack,” He starts, giving him an incredulous look. “I swear on this Haus if you fucking ran away after Bitty admitted having a crush on you so help me God-”

“It's not on me! _Crisse_ ,” Jack responds before the lecture can really get started. “He didn't tell me who it was on, just that he had one.”

Shitty furrows his brows, turning his head a bit to the side. “When you say you ran away, did you literally flee the scene? I need deets brah.”

“We were on the roof when he told me.” Jack looks at the door to his room, wondering if Bitty is still down at the party. He wonders if he's talking to whoever his crush is on down there. “Holster and Ransom interrupted him in the middle of telling me that it's on someone in the Haus.” Shitty doesn't say anything when Jack looks over at him to judge his reaction, but he can tell by the look on his face that he wants to, so he finishes what he's saying as quickly as possible. “We came off the roof, he went back to the party, I came here.”

“And now we're here,” Shitty finishes, scratching at his face thoughtfully. “Someone in the Haus, huh?”

“That's what he said.”

“So, theoretically, it could still be you.”

Jack shakes his head. “I really don't think so. It doesn't really make sense for him to tell me he has a crush on someone in the Haus if that someone is me.”

And well, he'd kind of thought that Bitty might've had a crush on him too. But it doesn't really make sense for Bitty to admit he has a crush to the person that he has a crush on and not say that it's them. So, Jack has ruled himself out.

“I guess, but there's always the possibility.” Shitty runs a hand through his hair, before he starts talking again. “Maybe he was about to reveal his feelings for you and just got interrupted, or maybe he's trying to make you jealous by telling you that he has a crush on someone else to see what your reaction will be or even-”

“I'm in love with him, Shits.”

He's not sure what prompted the confession. He's pretty sure part of it was just not wanting Shitty to go off on a tangent about what Bitty could've been trying to say. It feels right, in some way, telling Shitty. If he was going to tell anyone, he feels like it should be him.

Shitty's mouth snaps shut when he says it, dropping the hand that was in the air while he was talking. He's quiet for such a long time that Jack is starting to think that he's done something wrong when Shitty finally responds.

“Are you sure about that man?”

Jack blinks in surprise, their eyes meeting. They stare at each other while Jack thinks, focusing hard on what he's been feeling because it's a valid question. One that Jack wasn't really ready for.

He thinks back, thinking of the first time he saw Bitty, how warm he'd felt. How he'd hated that warmth for so long because he didn't understand it. How every time he sees Bitty he wants to pull him into his arms and let him know how important he is. How he can't imagine having to leave once he's graduated and just be his friend. How his chest still aches at the thought of not being what Bitty wants.

“I'm very sure,” He replies, blinking a few times, feeling dazed. “I can't even think about him anymore with out like, getting this weird chest pain. I just,” He pauses, trying to figure out how to get the words out of his mouth. If it's this hard just to talk about it with Shitty, he can't even imagine trying to tell Bitty about it. “I guess I just want to be the one that he wants, ya know? Like, I don't know. I just feel really strongly about him and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do once I leave and I don't get to see him every day. Like, I want him to be happy, of course, but I want him to be happy with me.”

“That's really,” Shitty nods, taking a deep breath and blowing it out while scratching his face again. “That's fuckin' balls, dude.”

Jack can't help but laugh at his wording, but he agrees. The whole situation is definitely balls.

-

“Good morning!”

Bitty greats him as he walks into the kitchen. Jack smiles, despite his small headache. He didn't even have anything to drink, so he can't imagine that Bitty doesn't also have a headache. The only dishes that are out are the ones that Bitty is using, a large contrast to the state that the kitchen was in last night. It had been a complete disaster when Jack walked through. He figures that Bitty must've woken up early just to clean everything up.

It takes him a moment to realize what Bitty is wearing, but when he does, he almost feels dizzy. His sweatshirt is too wide for him, bunching up around the waist and making him look impossibly smaller. He's got the sleeves rolled up, but Jack is sure if he let them down they'd easily cover his hands. He's only wearing boxers as well, putting his legs on display. Obviously, Jack has seen him in his boxers before, but there's something more about this moment. It's quiet, domestic even, if Jack allows himself to dream like that.

“Good morning,” Jack responds, sitting down at the island and watching Bitty putter around making something. He assumes it's breakfast. “You're up early.”

Bitty laughs, turning around to face him. Jack loses his breath for a second as the light shines through the window right onto Bitty's face. It's like something out of a movie. There's a small amount of sweat on his forehead, and his hair is pushed away from his face. His eyes almost look like they're shining and Jack really has to focus on not being a total idiot and staring, as per usual when he's around Bitty.

“I couldn't let y'all starve, now could I?” He replies, winking playfully.

Jack laughs in return, shaking his head. He tries to clear his thoughts. He's usually much better at ignoring his feelings than this, but with Bitty looking so angelic, and the soft lighting and quietness of the morning, he feels a bit off balance.

“I guess that would kind of suck.”

Bitty snorts, returning to what he was doing before. “I hope that Shitty clears everyone out soon. There's some guy passed out on the couch with his pants unzipped and it's weird.”

Jack closes his eyes, rubbing them tiredly. He's not looking forward to cleaning everything up. He and Bitty are the only two that don't have classes all day on Sundays, which means they'll be stuck on clean up duty like usual.

“I'm sure he'll get them all when he wakes up.”

Jack tries to focus on anything but Bitty's movement around the kitchen, but it's hard when the kitchen is clean and there's nothing really interesting to look at. It's one of those rare times that Jack wishes he actually used any form of social media, just so he could have an excuse to look at his phone at a time like this.

Sooner than later though, there's breakfast food appearing left and right. There's pancakes, and bacon, and eggs, and Jack's pretty sure he saw a pie go into the oven but it's hard to keep track of everything as it happens at once.

Soon after everything begins to appear on the counter, they begin to hear shuffling upstairs, along with a few random party goers coming into the kitchen in search of food. Jack politely ushers anyone who comes in right back out, until they hear Ransom yell to the others upstairs, “Bitty made breakfast!”

This brings a lot of footsteps down the stairs, and Jack is glad that he's already gotten his food because with the way that Ransom and Holster run into the room, he's sure there won't be any left by the time they've gotten theirs.

Bitty leans against the counter, watching everyone get their food as the rest of the team begins to file into the room, Shitty having removed most of the stragglers in the living room. Jack tries very hard not to stare him, especially since he has to turn around slightly to do so and the rest of the team would notice that very quickly.

“OK, so,” Ransom says, his mouth half filled with food. “Is now a good time to propose? Or is it too soon?”

Bitty laughs, shaking his head and setting his coffee cup down. “You be quiet and eat your food.”

“OK, but seriously,” Holster adds on, looking around at everyone's who's generally just gathered around the island. “can we talk about how fucking lucky Bitty's future husband is going to be?”

Jack turns to look at Bitty, who's blushing, face buried in his phone. Jack's attempts to not think about what it would be like to be married to Bitty are all for not. His mind is suddenly filled with images of Bitty just as he is now, sipping coffee and smiling and blushing slightly, but in a house that's theirs and no one elses. The ache he feels in his chest is so familiar it's almost comforting.

“Legit!” Lardo says, eyes wide while she nods in agreement. “Unlimited pies, authentic southern food-”

“Not to mention a hot as fuck husband,” Ransom says, making everyone laugh and agree. “Just look at him!”

This causes everyone to turn around, looking at Bitty. Jack's chest feels tight. Bitty could have a crush on anyone in the this room, and they're all seeing him look so beautiful. Anyone in this room could have a crush to match Bitty's.

“You don't have to say all of that,” Bitty says, flushing deeply. “I know I'm not lookin' the best right now, but it's early and I have a hangover.”

Everyone talks over each other, disagreeing immediately. Jack wonders when the appropriate time to leave would be. He wants to slip away now, before he can think anymore about who Bitty's crush might be.

“Bits,” Shitty says, holding his fork out in front of him dramatically. “You're practically Beyonce right now.”

Everyone whoops in agreement, laughing. Bitty's flush becomes impossibly darker, and he squirms slightly, looking mildly uncomfortable. Bitty shakes his head instead of responding, going back to drinking his coffee and grabbing himself a plate, finally.

“You should do one of those photoshoots where they make the players make really serious faces while they're skating,” Holster suggests, giggling along with Lardo. “Like the ones they make posters out of.”

“Except like, in your underwear,” Ransom adds, making another roar of laughter errupt, filled with agreeances from the entire team.

“Y'all better quit,” Bitty says, pulling a pie from the oven carefully and setting it on the counter. “You're not allowed to chirp me when I made y'all breakfast.”

“Not even chirping here dude.” Ransom grins, making direct eye contact with Bitty and winking. “You're hot enough for it.”

Jack feels like he's the only one noticing how uncomfortable Bitty looks, despite his laughing. His body is much stiffer than usual, and his knees look like they're locked in place. He keeps taking deep breaths before he starts talking too, and Jack is a bit worried about him.

“Lord,” Bitty mumbles, wringing his fingers together for a second. “You need your eyes checked.”

“Hey,” Jack addresses the team, reacting to Bitty's discomfort. “Lay off.”

He's glad that he has his captain voice down so well, because despite a few chirps about him ruining all of the fun, no one really argues with him. It quiets down significantly after that, and soon, everyone is shuffling from the room, leaving to get ready for their classes. This leaves only Bitty and Jack in the kitchen as Bitty sits down to eat.

“You don't have to eat last you know,” Jack reminds him, getting up to put his plate in the sink. He feels much more relaxed now that it's just him and Bitty in the room. Everything is easier when it's just him and Bitty. He has that effect on Jack.

“I know,” Bitty sighs, pushing his food on his plate for a moment before beginning to eat. “That's just what my momma always used to do. She'd wait for everyone to get some, and then get hers.”

“That makes sense, I guess.” Jack sits back down, turning his stool so that they're facing each other. “The food was really good.”

“Thanks!” Bitty grins, running a hand through his hair. “I figured everyone would need some hangover food after a party like that.”

“I think you just riled them up.”

“I think you're right.” Bitty pull his sleeves down his arms. Jack was right, the sleeves cover his hands and then some. “Thanks, by the way, for getting them off my back.”

“No problem, Bittle.” He smiles with half of his mouth. “But, look on the bright side. Whoever your crush is, they definitely think you're hot.”

Bitty laughs, rubbing his arm and looking away. Jack tilts his head to the side in concern as Bitty responds.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Jack leans forward a little bit, subconsciously. “What's wrong?”

“Ah, nothing.”

He's still obviously uncomfortable, eyes shifting around nervously. Normally, Jack doesn't like to pry, but it's very obvious that whatever it is, it's bothering Bitty a lot.

“Something's bothering you, eh?” Jack's brows furrow. “Is it because I mentioned your crush? Because I can not do that, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Bitty shakes his head, tangling his fingers together. “It's not that, it's just that,” He pauses, like he's trying to think of what to say. “I really like him, and Ransom is-”

He's interrupted by Holster popping his head into the door frame. “Hey Bits, do you know where my sweatshirt is? Ransom says you did laundry a few days ago.”

“Yep!” Bitty says too quickly, standing up. “Absolutely. Let me show you!”

He practically runs over to Holster, dragging him out of the kitchen before Jack can even really begin to think about what Bitty had just accidentally told him. He feels rooted to the spot, unable to think for a few moments, because it's _Ransom_. Bitty's mystery crush is Ransom.

It makes sense now, why Bitty was so uncomfortable. Ransom had been the one leading most of the compliments, and he'd even winked at him.

He needs to lie down. Immediately.

-

“His crush is on Ransom.”

Jack sits down heavily across from Shitty, who's sitting on the floor with his laptop in his lap and several papers scattered around him. There's a high liter in his mouth as he starts to responde to what Jack said.

“Alright, as much as I want to gossip, I really need to-” He cuts off, eyes widening and looking up as he realizes what Jack means. “Holy shit wait, are you talking about _Bitty_?”

Jack nods, putting his head into his hands for a moment and taking a deep breath. He's been in his room putting himself in a bad mood for hours, waiting for Shitty to get home. Even then he'd waited for another hour to talk to him, unable to motivate himself out of bed.

“Holy fuck, dude, what? Did he fucking confess to you? Is he planning on making a move?” Shitty moves his computer from his lap, setting it on some of the papers next to him.

“Eh, this morning we were talking, and he got cut off, but the implication was that his crush is on Ransom. I don't remember his exact words, but he said something about really liking someone and Ransom's name in the same sentence.”

Shitty leans back against the bed, raising his eyebrows and looking skeptical. “That doesn't necessarily mean he likes Ransom.”

“What else would it mean?”

Shitty runs a hand through his hair, blowing air from his mouth heavily. This none answer is all the confirmation Jack needs. He'd been holding out for Shitty to have some sort of logical reason for Bitty to say what he had, but it's pretty clear that Bitty's crush is indeed on Ransom.

“Are you like, OK man?”

Jack thinks for a moment. He's pretty much accepted that anything between him and Bitty is pretty much impossible now if it's past simple friendship. Even having done this, he still feels like there's a balloon in his chest that's been inflated far too much, threatening to pop. It's pulling his lungs out of his chest, stopping him from being able to breathe correctly.

“No,” He says, breathing a little heavier than before. “I don't think I am, actually.”

Shitty moves to sit next to him, not touching him, but making sure Jack knows that he can lean on him if he needs to. Jack thanks what ever God gave him Shitty.

“It's just-” Jack breathes in, trying not to panic but failing. “I don't know how much longer I can be _just_ his friend. I _love_ him, Shits. Fuck I know-” He chokes, his words getting caught in his throat. “I understand why he doesn't feel the same, but I-I wish that- _Deui_ why does nothing ever work out for me.”

“Hey, come on man,” Shitty says, rubbing his back while he struggles to breathe. He feels like an idiot, panicking over something so trivial. “It's OK. You're OK right now. I'm here. I worked out for you dude, our friendship worked out. Not everything is all bad.”

Jack nods, but he needs to vent. The only way he's going to feel better is by telling Shitty everything. “I know, but I can't believe he-” He cuts himself off with a deep breath. “God now I have to see Ransom everyday and watch him and Bitty interact. And what if they start _dating_ , I really can't handle that.”

“Jack you know for a fact Ransom and Holster are in love with each other there is no way Bitty is coming between that.” Shitty speaks firmly, no room for argument, and Jack knows he's right.

“Even- even forgetting Ransom. Bitty is going to fall in love someday with someone who isn't me. I'm leaving in a few months and Bitty isn't going to have time to talk to me when I'm always practicing and busy with being a hockey player. He's gonna fall in love with someone else and he's gonna tell me about it and I'm gonna be in love with him! And all I'm ever gonna be his fucking friend! Fuck!”

Shitty pulls him close, hugging him awkwardly from the side. Tears sting at the back of Jack's eyelids and he hates it. He hates crying in the first place; feels weak for it, and crying over something so mind numbing as his feelings. He has bigger problems than being in love. He's graduating soon, signing with an NHL team, moving away. He's gonna have to make new friends, become comfortable with a new team. The thought makes him cry even harder.

All he can really focus on is Bitty, and it's messing with his head. He can't believe that he's being such an idiot about the whole thing.

A knock on the door kind of pulls him back to his senses, making him clench his teeth.

“Yeah?” Shitty calls, standing up to get the door while looking back at him a few times while walking.

“Hey, do you know where Jack is?” Bitty's voice floats through the door. “I knocked on his door and he didn't answer.”

Shitty looks back at him, raising his eyebrows.

Jack nods before he can think too much, wiping his eyes frantically and trying to even out his breathing. He doesn't want Bitty to know something is wrong.

“Uh, yeah,” Shitty doesn't open the door. “he's in here.”

“Oh. Are y'all busy? I can talk to him later.” Bitty sounds hesitant, and Jack can hear his feet shuffling around.

“No it's fine!” Jack calls, standing up and wiping his face again. His head hurts, pounding slightly. He regrets even saying anything immediately. “Just meet me in my room!”

“Alright!” Bitty still sounds hesitant, but he walks away.

“Why did I do that?” Jack asks rhetorically, shaking his head. “I'm an idiot.”

“I can't argue with you on that, my friend,” Shitty agrees solemnly.

Jack wipes his eyes again and hoping that he doesn't look like he's been crying too much. He nods at Shitty, who grabs his arm before he can walk away.

“Come back later OK? We gotta talk about this,” He says, a lot more serious than Jack is used to.

“I will,” Jack agrees, nodding again before opening the bathroom door and making his way to his room.

When he gets there, he takes a moment to put his covers back on his bed, just to give himself time to breathe. His anxiety is still heavy in his chest, keeping his lungs feeling a bit like they're filled with water, but he chooses to ignore it.

When he opens the door, Bitty is standing there. He smiles, holding up Jack's jacket in his hand slightly and coming forward into the room.

“Hey! I- have you been crying?” Bitty cuts himself off as he looks up at him, eye scanning his face.

Jack shrugs, looking down at his feet. He was hoping that Bitty wouldn't be able to tell, but he had been crying probably not even a minute before. He should've guessed that Bitty would be able to tell, since he's the mother figure of the group.

“Eh, it's OK. Don't worry about it,” Jack replies, taking a step to the side so that Bitty can come fully into the room.

Bitty looks up at him, his eyebrows pushed together slightly. “Are you sure?”

Jack thinks for a moment about telling Bitty what's wrong. Spilling his feelings out and clearing the air before it can suffocate him. He doesn't though. He'd rather suffocate than make Bitty feel uncomfortable.

“Mhm.” He smiles, only half of his mouth going up. “What did you need?”

“Oh! I never got a chance to give you your jacket back!” Bitty holds the jacket up, looking sheepish.

He says something else, but Jack can't hear him because all he can think about is the fact that he doesn't want the jacket back. He'd forgotten he even gave it to Bitty. He wants to see Bitty wearing it around the haus; outside when it's cold. He wants to see Bitty in more than just his jacket. He can't understand how Bitty manages to look so beautiful while not doing anything but talk. Without thinking, he steps forward.

“Jack? Are you listening?”

Jack wishes he was, but he's been more focused on Bitty's lips moving while he talks. He moves closer, his entire body being drawn to Bitty. He feels like he's going crazy.

“I don't want that jacket back,” He says, putting a hand on Bitty's waist. He doesn't even know what he's doing. Why he's doing it. He knows he's going to regret it.

“Jack? What are you talki-”

For a moment, Jack loses all of his control. He leans down, pressing his lips to Bitty's in the middle of his sentence. It's messy, Bitty's lips still moving beneath his, but once Bitty realizes what's going on, he's kissing back, putting his arms around Jack's neck. The jacket he'd been holding in his hands before falls to the floor with a soft _flumpf_.

Jack is pretty sure he's never felt this good in his life. For a moment, his anxiety doesn't exist, completely gone from his brain. Bitty's lips against his are like a cure all. Everything feels warm, and he's almost floating on the feeling of being so close to him. It's everything he's wanted for so long. He has to bend at the knees slightly to reach him, and his neck is at an odd angle, but none of it matters because Bitty is kissing him back, their lips moving slowly against each others.

Too soon though, Bitty is pushing him away slightly, looking up at him with wide eyes as he struggles to find words. Reality hits him hard.

“Why-” Bitty steps back even farther, wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve. “Why did you-?”

“I'm sorry,” Jack apologizes immediately. His thoughts moving at a million miles per hour. “I don't know why I did that.”

He can't believe he just did that.

“Oh, well that's-”

Jack is scrambling in his head, trying to think of an excuse, any reason to have kissed Bitty in the middle of him talking. Judging by the look on Bitty's face, no excuse is going to work at this point, and if he's honest with himself, he's not even sure why he did it.

“I really shouldn't have done that,” He settles, trying to think straight. It's getting increasingly harder as Bitty's face changes and Jack can't read any of it. He's always been bad at reading people. “I'm sorry.”

Bitty looks up at him, mouth open like he's going to say something, but no words come out. Jack is absolutely screwed. It's rare that Bitty has nothing to say.

“Please say something,” Jack begs, because even being yelled at would be better than just being stared at like he's crazy.

“Sorry!” Bitty says, regaining himself and straightening himself out a little bit. “Sorry, I was- uh-,” He trips over his words awkwardly, tucking his hands into his sleeves and looking around the room. “I really have to tell you something Jack. I've been trying to tell you for a while, but I don't think you're getting it.”

Jack's pretty sure his heart stops. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He knows that Bitty doesn't feel the same as he does. He's accepted it by now, at least a little bit. At this point, he knows that hearing it is going to hurt much more than he's ready for. Especially since Bitty likes Ransom instead of him. He can't exactly blame him, but it still hurts. Jack knows he's a robot. No one is going to fall for a robot.

“It's OK, Bitty,” He says, trying to put off his own heartbreak. Maybe if he doesn't hear Bitty actually say it, it won't hurt as much. “I know. You don't have to tell me.”

Bitty's entire face goes white, and Jack almost thinks he might pass out. “Y-you do?” His eyes are wide, disbelieving.

Jack really isn't emotionally equipped to deal with this situation. He closes his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“Yeah, and it's fine. I'm not gonna- uh- make things weird, between us or anything. I just want to be your friend.”

Jack is totally unprepared for the tears that begin to fall from Bitty's eyes as he speaks. “Then why did you _kiss_ me?”

Jack rubs at his eyes at the tone of Bitty's voice. This is probably the closest he's ever heard Bitty be to being actually mad at someone. He's pretty sure he's never regretted anything more in life than kissing Bitty. His brain is scrambling again, trying to think of the words to convince Bitty that he never meant for this to happen and he's perfectly happy with being just friends for the rest of forever, even though he's getting less and less OK with it. He'd pretty much do anything for Bitty at this point.

“I just-” He bends at the knees a little and clenches his fists as he straightens. “I- You were so- _Deui_ \- You're so- _crisse_ \- Your eyes sparkle, when you talk. They do it all the time and you're so incredible looking when they do that I just- got lost in the moment?” He looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to think of another explanation because even he's a bit confused on what he's talking about.

Bitty's tears seemed to have momentarily ceased as he stares at Jack in confusion. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth is open a little before he starts speaking. “Jack, you're not makin' any sense.”

“You're really beautiful, Eric.” He figures if there's any time to just say it, it's now. He's pretty sure he won't get another chance to do it again. “That's why I kissed you.”

“That- You can't just-,” Bitty starts, cutting himself off. Jack is prepared for his lecture on how he's not supposed to kiss people without their permission. Instead of lecturing though, Bitty moves a little closer to him and asks, “What is it that you think I don't have to tell you?”

Jack's chest clenches as he realizes that he's going to have to face the reality behind this whole situation eventually.

“That you have a crush on Ransom and we can't be friends anymore because I kissed you and made you uncomfortable because you don't feel the same.”

Jack didn't even know he could speak that fast, and he's pretty sure he said something in French during the small explanation.

“You- you think my crush is on Ransom?!”

Now it's Jack's turn to be confused.

“You told me that it was!” He blurts, pointing at him. He'd thought that's what had happened, at least. Looking at the look on Bitty's face though, he's really not sure anymore.

“I only ever said it was on someone in the Haus!” Bitty puts his hands on his hips, and if they weren't in this current situation, Jack would chirp him for it.

“No, but this morning, in the kitchen. You said it was on Ransom.” Jack feels the need to defend himself now. Partly because he doesn't want Bitty to think he's an idiot, and partly because Ransom and Holster are the lesser of the two evils because Jack has no idea what he's going to do if Bitty has a crush on Shitty.

“Now when on Earth did I ever-” He stops mid sentence, eyes widening almost comically. Jack can see the gears in his head turning, going back to their conversation. “No! That's not what I was saying!” He steps forwards, getting into Jack's personal space. His voice is growing louder now, and Jack's nerves are on end. Bitty's voice rarely ever gets loud. “Jack, I was not trying to tell you that my crush is on Ransom, sweet Jesus. I never even got to finish my sentence.”

This admission just serves to make Jack even more uncomfortable and defensive.

“OK! Fine! Your crush isn't on Ransom.” He crosses his arms, his own voice raising in retaliation. “That doesn't change the fact that we're having this conversation.”

“I'm not even quite sure what this conversation is even about anymore, Jack!”

“It's _about_ you ignoring the fact that I'm in love with you!”

And, well, there it is. He's been keeping it inside of him for so long it's almost a relief to tell someone, even if that someone is the object of his affections. He realizes after the fact that he's said it much louder than he intended to.

Bitty stares at him, mouth open and eyes wide. He looks ridiculous, like he's acting something out in charades. They both stare at each other for a moment. The air around them is entirely still, keeping Jack from moving.

“You're …. _what_?” Bitty sounds almost outraged and if Jack wasn't regretting his decisions earlier, he's definitely regretting them now.

“Don't make me say it again.”

Jack feels like the floor is slipping out from underneath of him as he watches the emotions cross Bitty's face. He goes from confusion to anger to disbelief, his face finally settling on a slight smile and wide eyes. His heart clenches in his chest when Bitty begins laughing, sounding a bit hysterical.

It stings more than Jack will admit. He knows that Bitty doesn't feel the same, but he wasn't expecting to be laughed at for his feelings.

“You don't have to laugh at me,” Jack says, digging his fingernails into his palms because he's already on the verge of tears, and Bitty hasn't even actually confirmed that he doesn't feel the same about Jack. “I know it's stupid, for me to have fallen for you.”

Bitty stops laughing, shaking his head. “I'm not laughing at you, Jack.” He walks up, carefully unballing Jack's fists and taking his hands. Jack lets him. He'll still do pretty much anything to have Bitty's skin touching his. “I promise.”

Jack takes a moment to wonder how Bitty is so beautiful, even when he's breaking his heart.

“I'm laughing because my crush is on you, you oblivious Canadian.” Jack is pretty sure his brain short circuits as Bitty reaches up to touch his cheek softly. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He's not actually sure what he should even say in a situation like this. “That's what I was trying to tell you, after you kissed me.”

Jack stares down at him, Shitty's words rattling around in his head. “ _Maybe he was about to reveal his feelings for you and just got interrupted.”_

“You were going to tell me, out on the roof.” Jack is probably the biggest idiot on planet Earth. It makes sense now, why Bitty would tell him about his crush, despite him not knowing anything about romance. The crush was on him.

Bitty nods, smiling. “I got all tripped up on what I was trying to say because I was tipsy and it kinda came out wrong but Holster and Ransom interrupted before I could do anything to correct myself. And then in the kitchen, what I was trying to say was that Ransom is always making me blush around you.”

Jack rubs the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. “Oh.”

“But, there's more to what I was going to say earlier because my crush isn't just a crush,” Bitty gets a little closer to him, smirking. “I'd reckon I might be in love with you too, Jack Zimmermann.”

Jack grins, grabbing Bitty's waist and pulling him into a kiss. Bitty gets up on his tiptoes and meets him halfway, both of them smiling into the kiss. Just like that, Jack is feeling warm all over once again. It's everything he's wanted for so long, and it's right in front of him. Totally attainable all of the sudden.

They separate, staying close to each other for a few moments, both taking a moment to believe what's happening.

“I would really like to be your boyfriend,” Bitty says softly, looking up at him shyly.

“I would really like that too,” Jack says, smiling. There's a moment of silence though, where the reality of what that would mean settles in his stomach like a cold weight. “But-” He pulls back a little bit, keeping his hands on Bitty's waist. He'll be damned if he lets Bitty date him without telling him the what the whole situation would involve.

“But?” Bitty asks, his smiling having fallen a little.

“But there's a lot that's gonna come with dating me.” Jack sighs, looking back at his bed for a moment. “Let's sit down?”

Bitty nods, following him to the bed and sitting down next to him on the edge. He can practically feel how nervous Bitty is.

“I'm signed with an NHL team,” Jack says, speaking slowly so he doesn't mess up his words or start speaking in French. “which means I can't really tell anyone that we're together, at least not immediately. And I would really hate to deny you being with someone who can be openly affectionate all of the time. I also, uh, haven't told my parents that I'm not straight, so they probably won't know until later. I'll also be busy, with training and games and stuff, so I don't know how often I'll be able to visit you and I don't want you to feel like you have to sit around and wait for me or anything. I just-” He takes a deep breath. He can't believe he's possibly changing Bitty's mind on the whole thing when them dating is so close he can taste it. “I don't want to stop you from dating someone who's closer and has more time for you. There are a lot of people who can give you everything that I can't.”

He looks away, unable to look at Bitty. He doesn't want to see the emotions on his face. He really doesn't want to witness Bitty changing his mind.

“Jack,” Bitty says, grabbing one of his hand gently. When Jack doesn't look up, Bitty sighs, moving to stand up. Jack closes his eyes, praying that Bitty doesn't just leave.

He doesn't. Instead, he climbs into Jack's lap, straddling him and forcing him to look up at him.

“ _Jack_ ,” Bitty says, again, eyes wide and serious. “Listen to me OK? Because I don't want you thinking like that while we're dating. I'm going to date you. I love you, ya hear me? We can work out things like that, if we really love each other. You think I'm not worried about the hundreds of girls who are going to throw themselves at your famous, millionaire feet once you start playing? I don't want to hold you back either, but when you say you love me, I believe it, and I trust you. I trust you to try your hardest at making this work, and you need to trust me to do the same. I've wanted to be your boyfriend for so long it's not even funny at this point. You aren't gonna deny us something that could be incredible just because of somethings that could go wrong for us.”

By the time he's done talking, his hands are on Jack's shoulders and he looks worried, like his words weren't convincing enough.

Jack surges forward, wrapping his arms around Bitty tightly and pulling him into an embrace, resting his chin on Bitty's shoulder. Bitty buries his face into Jack's neck in return.

“OK then,” Jack says, heart swelling a little in his chest. He's the luckiest person on the planet, in his opinion, to be able to have Bitty all to himself. “Let's do this then.”

He feels Bitty smile into his neck before pulling away a little bit.

“Boyfriends?” He asks, smiling sweetly.

“Boyfriends,” Jack agrees, nodding and smiling back.

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! You can find me on tumblr at Jehangelras! Thanks for reading ily


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